Parenting teens can be one of the greatest challenges parents will face. The role of the parent at these times is to improve and support the child’s self-esteem while allowing them to develop into independent critical thinkers with a set of values in place. Parents should give teenagers the ability to make some of their own choices such as friends and attire. It’s also critical that parents learn to use teachable moments to instill values without lecturing.

To better understand a teen consider what developments are happening in their minds and in their bodies. Hormones are the main cause of problems in teens. The rush of emotions felt can be overwhelming and confusing and the awkward changes in their bodies can sometimes lead to embarrassment. Mom and Dad’s should understand that sometimes the teen is just emotional and therefore easily agitated. If you can recognize the issue is really only a minor problem then you should resign to choosing your battles and let the mood run its course.

Inside a young teen’s mind, the brain is developing critical thinking skills. They are learning the ability to think abstractly. This means they will be thinking in terms of what ifs and why? Things are no longer black and white; they begin to see a spectrum. Expect that they will challenge many things including authority, politics, and religion.

Along these lines of thinking the humanness of their parents comes to light. Mom and Dad are capable of making mistakes. This can be jolting to some teens, while others see it as a challenge. They may try and catch you “slipping up” as a parent and call you on it. Just remember you are human, but you are also the adult.

As you were once the center of their world, their view begins to shift. They see other people’s lives and views as they interact with peers and gain knowledge about their surrounding environment. They now see an array of opinions and ideas aside from the ones they know. This means they will challenge their parents often. It’s totally normal for teenagers to test the boundaries. They are trying to expand their world and grow as an individual.

So how does a parent handle all of this? First and foremost parents need to learn how to actively listen. Active listening means you stop what you are doing, look at your child and give them your full attention. After they have spoken comment on what you have interpreted and give them a chance to verify that is what they meant.

Involve teens in discussions, use open ended questions to help them open up to you. For example ask what they think or how they feel about a situation. Give them positive routes to discuss their thoughts and avoid negative or threatening comments. Statements like “You are too young to understand” and “Don’t come crying to me when you mess up” only shut the doors of communication with your teen.

Power struggles between parents and teenagers can come as a surprise and often result in anger or hurt feelings in either party.  Never yell or scream at your teen, these struggles are totally normal and should be handled with positive discipline. Just remember teenage years are the intense and laborious years for the parent and the child but both have to same goal- for the child to turn into a happy, confident adult.

For good or bad, technology is becoming more and more prevalent in every area of our life. Children are being exposed to it more and more, and at incredibly young ages.

By all measures, our 13-year old boy is a smart, responsible, well-behaved teenager‰ÛÓa fact kindly reinforced by neighbors and friends as he babysits their children and shovels snow off driveways without being asked. When he‰Ûªs not outside, you‰Ûªll find our son facing a flat-screen: the HDTV, typing on a keyboard, or testing his skills on a videogame.

My wife and I want to encourage his digital connectivity, but at the same time protect his exposure to inappropriate content, contact with strangers, and spam that can lead to harmful results.

As a young boy, I remember doing things that went beyond parental approval, especially of the peer pressure variety. As a parent, you‰Ûªve probably experienced one of those awkward instances when you find yourself interrupting a not-for-dad‰Ûªs-eyes moment. Your child could have been alone or with a friend, and it more than likely involved snickering and whispering while watching a late-night TV show or computer screen. Unless there‰Ûªs specific proof, your first gut reaction is something‰Ûªs just not kosher.

Dealing with your child is a personal matter. However, when it comes to today‰Ûªs digital media, I suggest you be prepared. First, limiting their exposure, creating boundaries and setting down rules are great places to start. At our home, the TV is turned off during meal times. The kids are on the computer one hour a day. Our cars are text-free zones except when on trips and family time is aggressively. If simple measures such as these are not established you will quickly loose your kid to a two-dimensional world.

Now for the good news and the bad news about parental computer controls. The good news is that there is so much already available, much of it very capable for little or no investment. The bad news is there‰Ûªs so much available.
You can spend countless hours studying and configuring what‰Ûªs available for purchase or already canned. I believe most parents need to better understand where these devices can be installed and just how easy it is to establish a frontline defense. Please understand that installing or setting up controls today does not mean you are finished. Much like police radar guns and civilian radar detectors, this will be an ever-evolving parental responsibility. Like we as parents need another thing on our ‰ÛÏparent to-do‰Û list! So, let‰Ûªs start with:

1) Know what pieces you can effect

2) Learn how to make/establish simple road blocks

3) Develop a game plan

First, there are three main areas you can control with relatively easy do-it-yourself controls: the computer, the browser and applications.

Your computer, be it a PC or a Macintosh, has the ability to create a ‰ÛÏuser profile‰Û that manages where one can and cannot go. Depending on your computer, the Control Panel or System Preferences creates a ‰ÛÏnew‰Û user with which you can determine the available websites, appropriate email correspondences and even available applications. New users will login with their own password. This login can be set and locked to prevent changes unbeknownst to the user. Understanding how the System Preference feature works allows you to create separate user profiles for your son or daughter allowing them to log into the computer with preset boundaries and simple roadblocks. The key to sharing a computer is that everyone needs to login and remember to log out after usage.

Certainly inexpensive, the hardware option has its own limitations such as keeping passwords secret. And it does not address these new hand-held computers very well, for example the Apple iPad or any other such devices. These devices are but smaller versions of our desktop computers. However, they come with slimmer versions of the same software. So, our second line of defense, or offense, is setting provisions within the browser.

Browsers, are the computer screens to the internet. Windows has Explorer and Apple uses Safari, but there are many other browsers available, i.e. Firefox. All of these have ‰ÛÏsettings‰Û and tools you can use to better monitor usage.
If you as a parent are not familiar with the history tool, quickly become so. This simple and easy tool can transform
you into the family computer guru, especially to new computer/internet users. At the top of most browsers is a menu item labeled ‰ÛÏHistory,‰Û Unless it has been erased you can track where someone has been on the internet, the sites and pull up actual pages visited. For Internet Explorer users this feature is found under the ‰ÛÏGo‰Û menu at the top of the page.

Browsers also have settings within them. These can help set limits and prevent the wrong responses being pulled from an innocent search. Most browsers allow a quick check of a button to limit or filter searches to exclude explicit text and images. In addition, some have an additional feature which restricts other user‰Ûªs ability to change the preferences.
In Google it is referred to as ‰ÛÏlocking SafeSearch.‰Û

If setting preferences on your computer and/or within the browser is not within your comfort level, then look to purchasing software you can load onto the computer. Good reviews are provided online for Safe Eyes, Windows Vista Parental Controls, CyberPatrol and Net Nanny. Each does a good job of blocking questionable websites and monitoring kids‰Ûª online usage, but each program has a different advantage.

In addition, there are websites willing to teach more adventurous parents how to create their own computer code which routes computer searches away from unsuspecting sites. If interested, do a web search on ‰ÛÏPAC‰Û files or ‰ÛÏProxy Auto Configuration files.‰Û These ‰ÛÏspyware‰Û programs run in the background and do everything from recording
screenshots to blocking websites from venturing onto your computer.

There are obviously costs associated with any and all of these frontline defenses, most of which involve your time and willingness to understand. But, with a little website research you should effectively find a level of security that meets your requirements. As in the police radar gun analogy, parents will periodically modify, add and/or delete aspects of any of the three components that you can comfortably affect.

Remember, technological advancements are a byproduct of an industrial society. Therefore we cannot ignore its presence, rather learn to deal with it in a capacity that fits within the family‰Ûªs comfort level. And, if it is any consolation
your kids will manage similar affairs as technology continues to progress.

Parenting in today‰Ûªs fast paced world can be quite a challenge. Sometimes it seems as though the world is full of hostile influences vying for the shot to get at your children. While a worldview of this order may seem slightly paranoid to anyone without a kid, the fact is that there really are a lot of ways for unsavory influences to reach your children. TV and movies are familiar balances for most parents, but video games? The internet? These things are strange to some. And phones? Some parents may think that there is nothing troubling about a phone, but they haven‰Ûªt seen what a late model phone can do if that is what they think.
Thankfully there is an equally large selection of resources dedicated to helping a parent combat the influences they want to keep away from their children. Cell phone providers all have parental control setups that will ensure your child isn‰Ûªt up all night texting. You can even block some numbers, or stop them from sending and receiving pictures. There are rating agencies for TV, Movies, and video games, all of which can help you gain a better understanding of what your children are interacting with. And of course there are filters for both the internet and your TV, to prevent your children from looking at things you don‰Ûªt want them to when you‰Ûªre not around. None of these things can take the place of an active and involved parent, but they can help you be more effective as a parent, and they are a great means of staying in the loop with your child‰Ûªs activities.

Between traditional media, the internet, and cell phones; the challenges of parenting in the 21st century have become something more than those faced by our parents and grandparents. Every generation worries about unsavory influences affecting the next generation, but never has the next generation had access to so much information at such a young age. It is only fitting that we‰Ûªve dubbed this the information age.
Thankfully for parents, the same technology that has presented new challenges to parenting has also created solutions. Cell phones are a prime example. Sexting has become something of a media catchphrase. It means sending scandalous messages and/or pictures; and it is something that is rampant in teen culture. Recent surveys show that nearly half of 10-12 year olds have phones, and the number rises dramatically as children enter their teen years.
The rational for getting a teen a phone is sound. It allows them to stay in touch with parents, gives them a way to communicate with their peers, and it can be a lifeline in case of emergency. However the risks associated with cell phones are also very real. Not only is texting while driving dangerous (and an activity most teen drivers admit to engaging in) but texting in general can give the illusion of a private conversation that is anything but. It‰Ûªs a simple matter to forward a message or picture to everyone in your phone book, and suddenly what was meant to be private is now public knowledge.
Some phone controls are built into specific phone models. For instance, the Firefly and LG Migo are phones specifically designed for young children. While they may work for a child of 8 or 10, it‰Ûªs unlikely that your 14 year old will think it‰Ûªs cool to head to school with one of these phones. One of the advantages of these phones is the limited feature availability. They don‰Ûªt have text and internet capabilities, so you don‰Ûªt have to worry about your child running up your bill that way.
Another method of control is provided by service providers. AT&T has two forms of parental controls, one is included with service, the other one costs a nominal monthly fee. Verizon wireless also offers a wide range of parental controls for users, as does Sprint.
These parental controls can do several things. They can limit when a phone can text, meaning that you can set time limits, or even shut the phone off if it is moving at a certain speed to prevent texting or using the phone while driving. They can also flag messages with certain words in them for your review, or even let you read all the messages the phone sends and receives. They allow you to set up a list of blocked numbers to prevent unwanted people from contacting your child. They can limit or even disable web browsing, as well as application purchase. Those can be a lifesaver for a parent trying to stay in budget. They can even scan incoming and outgoing pictures for questionable content.