Positive Parenting
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Positive parenting is a method of parenting that involves providing a child with a supportive and loving environment and using positive discipline methods. This is an alternative to the authoritative parenting style in which the parent rules with an iron fist.
The basic principles of positive parenting mean using positive statements and discipline methods instead of negative or hurtful methods. Studies have shown that children who parented positively are better adjusted and have higher self esteems.
One belief of this method is that bad behavior or negative actions are a cry for a need or desire to be met. A child acts out for attention from their parents or to practice their individuality. Positive parenting says to look behind the action to decide what the child is really seeking.
Positive parenting is all about communication. Start communication right from birth, talk to your infant in positive tones and give lots of eye contact. As the child ages use positive statements to guide him through life. Instead of telling him “Don’t stand on the chair!” Say “We sit on chairs.” Give them options and positive solutions to problems. For example if little Erica doesn’t want to go to bed you can give her the option to go to bed right now or take five minutes and read quietly in her room first. Children will feel empowered with their ability to make choices.
So when a child acts up positive parenting will state that instead of a punishment, take away a privilege as a consequence. For some parents removing the privilege of playtime it- as in time out- is very effective. And before the consequence is carried out give the child time to correct their behavior- don’t just carry out consequences without an opportunity for the child to learn to make the right choice.
It’s important for parents to never withhold love as a consequence. Even while the punishment is being carried out the parent should explain what the child did wrong, why it’s wrong, what the punishment is and most importantly reaffirm you still love them even though they are not behaving.
Parents are human and sometimes they slip up. If you catch yourself losing control, yelling, or lying to your child- apologize. Don’t make excuses or add “but”s to the statement, just explain you are sorry and ask if they will forgive you. Allowing the child to see you have weaknesses will help them feel more confident when they realize weaknesses in themselves.
One of the most repeated principles of positive parenting is the phrase “Praise the child twice as much as you criticize the child.” This is a great point to keep in mind. Children are very hurt by negative comments and the damage they do is tough to reverse. Counter the bad with twice as much praise to help lift the child’s spirit and reward them for good behavior.
Finally, never ever resort to violence. Hitting, spanking, or yanking a child around is counterproductive. Children raised with violence only learn to use force to get what they want and their self esteem is gravely damaged.
Positive parenting is a great way to raise happy, well-adjusted children. Children with positive parents are independent and have a high self esteem. Remember parenting is never easy, but the goal is to raise happy adults. Keep the end goal in mind and remember not to sweat the small stuff.
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